How To Make Self-Care A Priority

 

Welcome Friend

I am so glad you are here. Give yourself full permission to pause. Take a deep breath and soften the outer edges of your body. We are so used to getting caught in the chaos of life . We let go of the balance of our life because we have so many demands. There is this idea that we can’t fall behind . We need to fix everything. If it’s not one thing it’s another. We can’t always eliminate the stressors of our life because our lives are constantly changing and so does the finish line. But we can be aware of how stress affects us, and with that awareness we get to choose how to respond. We get to decide which activities and choices we engage in. Other than exacerbate our stress we can mindfully reduce it by making choices in the activities and habits that create balance and maintain our health. When we are stressed we neglect these things because the stressors become the focus of our life. We don’t eat well, we don’t sleep, we don’t engage in movement we actually enjoy,  we don’t see our family and friends, we don’t take time to rest and rejuvenate. This leads to things like insomnia, high blood pressure, weight gain, fatigue, anxiety, isolation and burnout. Not only can lack of balance and health add to our current stress, it escalates the deterioration of our health down the road. We need to prioritize our health balance and well-being. This is your invitation to step into this place of balance to reclaim your health and wellbeing.

 

As a massage therapy or health coaching client of mine, you know that I strive to be of service in creating health and wellness in the lives of others. I especially have a heart for woman. We as women have the pressure of being so many things to others that we put our own health and lives on hold. But here’s the thing, when we don’t take care of ourselves we can’t fully take care of others. An empty well provides no water. We need to fill our well first and give from overflowing so we can step fully into our authentic selves and be the confident, strong, happy and fulfilled women we are called to be.

 

Putting our self-care last serves no one. I’ve learned that myself. I’ve lived in that place and it doesn’t feel good or make my family happy. It actually causes greater pain and stress for everyone. Coming home tired, cranky and worn out is just not the way I wanted to live. So I took back the reins of my life. I started with small manageable changes that I could pleasurably commit to. I started with nourishing my body and honoring my hunger and fullness. I fed my body nourishing foods that gave me energy rather than depleting my energy. Then I learned how to honor my Yes’s and my No’s. I made myself a priority and only said yes to things that I knew would serve my family and my well-being and said no to the things that didn’t. This created freedom to do the things I loved. Spend quality time with my kids. Spend time in nature. I got out my knitting projects again. I scheduled time to be with my girlfriends that lift me up and love all of me. My husband and I put ourselves on the calendar for a weekly date night and I began upping my self-care by getting a weekly massage. And you know what? I feel amazing. I feel more balanced, relaxed, confident and fulfilled. It opened up a place for me to discern what really makes me come alive. I became more empowered to make choices that help me maintain this health and balance so that I can continue to be present and giving to you my clients, and to my family and myself.

It was a process. It didn’t happen overnight. But because I started small with manageable changes in the context of my busy life, my habits stuck. (I have a business to run, a husband to love and a family with 5 kids in our clan, so I know what busy looks like.) I get it! I’ve been there. I know the struggle is real.  But now I have a new healthy foundation that has been laid, and I choose where to go next. And you can do this too. I want to help you step into the fullness and fulfillment that I know you can experience.

 

If any of this resonates with you, let’s chat. I offer a FREE 45 min. empowerment session to help you uncover what you have put on hold, and what is stopping you or slowing you down from living the life that makes you feel confident and fulfilled. It’s a strings attached session. You will get valuable tools in this session to help you create a plan to moving forward. And if you decide I can be helpful to you, we can talk about how to work together to get you back on track and put you back on the priority list of your life.

 

Just click the button below to schedule your free session.

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Take back the reins of your life and step into your fullness. It’s time to start taking care of you!

My $10,000 Lesson In Self Love

 

 Authenticity and Integrity have always been a heart centered way for me to walk my walk in truth. Today I am throwing in some vulnerability in an up close real way. Life is messy sometimes and I am bearing a piece of my soul and life that has gotten messy. 

This morning I had surgery to have an explant of my breast implants.

5 1/2 years ago, before I was working as a massage therapist and before I became a Nutritional Therapy Practitioner and a Holistic Health Coach, I got breast implants.  

I got implants because I was feeling that to fit into the culture of beauty around me, my own breasts that had fed my children for so many years, were less than. They didn’t measure up to the world’s view of beauty and therefore I didn’t measure up to the worlds view of beauty in my own mind. I felt that If I had better breasts, I would love myself more, value myself more, and finally stop the critical mean girl in my mind. And guess what? That mean girl didn’t go away. She stayed despite having “better boobs” and she found other things to criticize and be dissatisfied within her. I had beautiful breasts but didn’t feel the way I thought I would. Isn’t that sometimes the case in life. We get something we want, only to find that the thing we wanted wasn’t fulfilling at all. It made me take a good hard look at the “elephant in the room” that many women see and feel but don’t talk about. This body hate that is perpetuated by the media and ourselves to be what the world says is beautiful. This outside view of beauty that I grew up with that says to be physically beautiful is to be valued. Beauty that is based on a body that is skinny, toned, firm, flat abs and the “right” number on the scale or jeans size. Crazy right! But true. I began to notice the mean girl showing up more and more in my mind. I clearly remember my husband saying to me one night “I am so sorry that your mind is so hard on itself!” And he was right. The transformation to LOVE my body and myself would NEVER come from changing the outside. It would only happen by changing my thoughts, and having compassion for the mean girl who wanted to be valued, loved and accepted as a beautiful woman. 

And so I began my own personal growth journey, to love the skin I am in.

No matter what my belly looks like, or the stretch marks from having birthed 3 amazing children, or the extra weight that creeped up over the years, or the lines around my eyes, or the silver in my hair or the double chin. What I REALLY wanted wasn’t “better boobs, or a better body,” What I wanted was to fully and truly love me; the whole amazing, messy, striving me. 

I went back to school to study nutritional therapy as a way to learn how food affects our emotions and our minds as well as our bodies, and transformational health coaching as a way to uncover the belief systems we hold that creates our view of the world.  A way to not only heal myself and uncover the belief systems that said I was “less than and needed to be more,” but to help inspire and empower other women to heal themselves too. To help us all see our value in terms of health in our body, minds, emotions and spirits. An inner power and value based on who we are, as we are, in ALL of our messiness. I learned first hand that measuring up physically to the worlds idea of beauty, does NOT create a healthy mind or healthy emotions or a joyful spirit. It actually fueled my inner mean girl. 

Then the irony and serendipity of life occurred. Just when I had these “better boobs” paid off, I found out that I needed to get them removed. My body did NOT want them. The body is amazing at healing itself, and it decided that these implants needed to be walled off and encapsulated. Stage 3 encapsulation is what they call it. I did have the option of having them replaced, but decided against it for several reasons. First, I was having problems in other areas of my body that I didn’t even know could be attributed to breast implants. My eyesight had started getting much worse; I started having a hard time remembering conversations; my muscles began to hurt and began causing lack of mobility in my shoulders, so much so that it was affecting my workouts and my job as a massage therapist. I need my shoulders and mobility. In looking back over the timeline, all of this dysfunction started to happen AFTER I had the implants put in. A friend of mine here in Charlotte, had gone through her own issues with her implants and recommended that I do some research into breast implant sickness. In doing that research I was shocked to see a familiarity in many of my symptoms. Breast Implant sickness is a real thing and I never knew.

But more importantly, I decided against replacing my implants because I am in a different place in my own mind and journey of loving myself and loving the skin I am in. ALL OF ME. Soft saggy boobs, mama belly and all. I have the opportunity to really walk my walk. To be real and authentic and stand in my truth to accept and heal those parts that I rejected earlier in life.  

 This is my $10,000 lesson. $7,000 to get implants put in, and $3,000 to get them taken out. A $10,000 transformation in body and mind. 

I am grateful for this gift that God has woven into my life, to look at myself with compassion and to lean into love. To become empowered and radiant in the knowledge that I am loved and valued. To take my discovery and healing and use it as a way to encourage and inspire other women who struggle right along with me with this culture of needing to be too thin, but never quite good enough. This mentality is the “elephant in the room.”  We feel it and strive to overcome it, but rarely admit it.

I am a healer. Of myself and others in redefining our relationship with our bodies. The mentality that keeps us hating our bodies needs to change. The “diet” mentality that keeps women striving to be thinner to find their value is a billion dollar industry and feeds off our insecurities. It’s an illusion and I know it well. I have lived in it for too many years. 

My purpose and passion has always been one of nourishing others. Whether that comes in the form of education in eating real whole foods so that we can live healthy energetic lives, or cooking classes to put the power of what we put into our bodies back into our own hands, through stress management, self care, massage therapy, or helping woman live from a sense of fullness rather than depletion in our “too fast, keep going” world. This personal challenge of mine is fuel for that purpose. To encourage women from a place of knowing what it feels like when the mean girl voice shows up. And to choose a different voice to listen to.

Today begins my first day of healing in my body, but healing will continue in my mind, my emotions, my spirit and draw me closer to loving myself more fully each day. I know many women are thinking some of the same things, but are afraid to say them out loud. It needs to be said. To be spoken. Because in owning our stories, our trials, our gifts, we become transformed and the process allows transformation to create a ripple to effect others. I hope to be one of those ripples.