It’s been 1 week since my surgery, and 1 week since I shared openly in the social world why I chose to remove my breast implants.
The outpouring of love and support and resonance with other women in my community has been mind blowing. Sometimes when we are in our own world, we wonder if what we are thinking will really resonate with anyone else. And I was truly inspired by the comments and sharing on my own facebook page, letting me know that what I was sharing and talking about was IMPORTANT! With a capital I! I knew it was important for me, but to know it was also helping other women in finding their own voice in my sharing was a bonus in my passion to be able to serve others.
I want to share a bit more about what mindsets got me here, and how this journey has and is continuing to shape me in stepping more fully into myself, my purpose and my passion. Finding my place in this diet centered world in which we live, filled with images and belief systems that shape the filters in which we see ourselves as women.
As I have been healing this week, I have been learning more about goals and how they translate directly with our belief systems. In uncovering my own reasons for buying into the lie that I needed breast implants in the first place, I discovered that we actually have 2 different types of goals. Outer Goals and Core goals.
Outer goals are those things we want because we think they will make us appear happy or successful, to others. It is based on other people’s perceptions, but it never fulfills what we actually want.
This is the mindset that prompted me to get breast implants. I thought If I fit into the world’s view of beauty (bigger boobs = an attractive woman), then I would feel happy, valued, successful and love me. Outer goals look like this. More money, a better car, losing weight, getting into a certain size of dress or jeans, your dream home, better boobs. Yep, that was me. I had the outer goal that I thought would get me what I desired. But here’s the thing with outer goals; the finish line keeps moving. So I got the breast implants and found I wasn’t fulfilled, so the next thing I wanted was a tummy tuck, or to lose weight and fit back into my size 4 jeans. There is the feeling of what’s next? I’ve got the great boobs, but there is no true sense of meaning or fulfillment. BINGO! When our self worth is tied to these outer goals, it depletes our own identity that we have about ourselves. WHOA right? It all started making sense to me as to the why I wanted breast implants in the first place. I thought the outer goals would somehow make me feel more fulfilled. That’s the illusion that the diet industry is selling us. Lose weight and you will feel, be amazing. Achieve the life of your dreams, once you are a size 4. Fill in the blank here on whatever you see as your outer goal. It reminds me of the saying “money can’t buy happiness.” And it’s true because money, beauty, status, are all outer goals that have nothing to do with our inner fulfillment.
Core goals fulfill you. They are a state of mind vs something tangible to achieve.
They are deeply satisfying and create our identity. THIS is where the shift comes from to experience true transformation in our minds that lead us to the happy lives we want to be living. This is the mindset that shifted for me in learning how to really love myself and who I am. I created core goals that fulfilled me, rather than relying on outer goals that left me chasing the moving finish line.
The old Chris with outer goals wanted to feel loved, valued and accepting of herself, but thought the outer goals would give that to her. Bigger, better boobs, smaller jean size, a successful business. The NEW 2017 Chris still wants to feel loved, valued and affirmed in her self worth and identity, but realizes that in order to experience this, my core goals are what creates that. This internal state of mind, not the outer body or outer world.
My core goals that fulfill me and give me my sense of identity are to serve, inspire, nourish, teach and empower other woman. To share my authentic self in a way that helps them create the shift from the outer goals, to the core goals to feel TRULY transformed in mind, emotions and body. Yes, we have some physical health issues that need to be addressed sometimes. But we approach those health issues and their resolution from identifying a core goal and not focusing on the outer goal. This is the game changer. I am a healer. I have finally allowed myself to embrace that. To own that. To step fully into that gift of being real and encouraging others in this world. When I step into that core goal and live from this place, I feel valued, self accepting, loved and am able to not only live in integrity with who I want to be, but I also have a new appreciation for and love who I truly am and who God has created me to be. This is where I live in alignment and resonance with my goals and desires. This is where I step into my purpose and passion to serve my community in a bigger way. A meaningful way that shifted how I relate to myself and the world.
I now can actually understand where my lack of love for myself stems from. The anxiety and depression that I have struggled with over the years. The feeling of striving to do more, create more, be more. The reason why I used to live in a state of depletion rather than fullness. I was constantly chasing outer goals, achieving them and then chasing the finish line that had moved. It’s exhausting. It’s unfulfilling. It’s depleting and It is disempowering. It’s not the way to achieve the life your desire or the happiness you want. It’s time to make a shift friends.
I have 3 questions for you to get started in making your own shift from outer goals to core goals.
1- Are you living your purpose? What have you been drawn to? What are you here on this planet to do? What do you see as your gifts?
2- Where in your life are you not in alignment? Is there any part of you feels like you are out of alignment with your own authenticity?
3- Where can you start today to make a shift? Start right where you are. It doesn’t need to be big. It can be even a small awareness of needing to uncover your core goals. Or to take the time to answer these questions to get some clarity.
Take some time to ponder these questions. Write them down. Get radically honest with yourself. You can do this! It’s liberating and empowering.
This is the shift that encouraged me to not only have the breast implants removed, but to also not get them replaced and start living from fullness rather than depletion and to love myself more each and every day. It has allowed me to be able to be vulnerable and share my story. And I hope it may also give you voice to what is going on with you too. As women we are warriors, we are survivors, we are creators, we are powerful, we are a tribe, and we need to OWN that sister! We have a choice in which filter we choose to view the world and which goals we choose to live from.
If this speaks to you and you want help uncovering some of what your core goals are and you want to make that shift from outer goals to fulfilling core goals, I can help.
We can set up a free empowerment session. This is how I get to share my purpose and passion. It’s free and It allows you to uncover what is stopping you from living the life you desire. Together we will lean into those core goals and recognize those outer goals that keep you striving instead of really loving all of who you are. It’s powerful work and it’s what creates a True Transformation in our lives. Stop chasing the finish line my friend. It’s going to move anyway.
Feel free to reach out to me at firstname.lastname@example.org to share what is going on in your world. How are you making the shift? What are some of your core goals? What have you recognized as your outer goals that keep you striving. I want to know and I want to celebrate you! I read every email that lands in my inbox and I will do my best to reply to each and every one.
Wishing you FREEDOM and joy and living from fullness!